THE TATO AWARDS

actually most gaming awards shows SUCK

It's true!!! I'm so so much better than these billion dollar organisations clearly, so I'm doing it here.


If you disagree that's a you problem. Half the problem with these things is them turning into popularity contests, so I'm just deciding it myself. I have all the power.

in this house we democracyn't

GAME OF THE GAME OF THE YEAR

wow! there were games this year. proper stuff.

however

big daddy ARMORED CORE VI: FIRES OF RUBICON takes it

imagine being such a good studio. and then going "what if we made a game that was better than our other ones". holy hell.

GAME OF THE INDIE OF THE YEAR

yeah what about the little guys. the guys who don't have 5 (or like... 12 or however many armored coreses there are) other games and fat stacks to throw at making proper gamer stuff.

well actually

we got PIZZA TOWER for that one buddy

wow!!!!!! wario and sonic. and italy. yeah. play this one.

CONTENT OF THE CREATOR OF THE YEAR

what would games be without content creators? games, that's what. but games where you can't go "AY DID YOU SEE DID DID YOU SEE WHEN UH WHEN FORTNITE JOHNSON WAS LIKE UHHHH AND THEN ON STREAM AND THEN HE FELL OVER??????"

Truly an integral part of society.

obviously

it's ME. it's LITERALLY ME.

for like squirms and stuff yeah

haha yeah...

ok really i'm just not comfortable declaring A Person the 'best' so like... yeah. idk. there's a lot of good ones i mean like. go watch rtgame or dougdoug or like... anyone. grayfruit or whatever. fuck it sit down and watch all of lark souls 2 right now. why not. you have time.

GAME OF THE DENSE

also known as: game of the year but like short. shorter game. short but sweet. dense. proper stuff.

oh boy

it's LIKE A DRAGON GAIDEN: THE MAN WHO ERASED HIS NAME

haha yeah. long title. but really a certified DENSE GAME

don't know who this joryu dude is but he's a cool guy. looks kinda like kiryu wonder if they're related.
but really this game just feels important. significant entry in a life-changing franchise, i guess.

bad

god damn not everything this year was good. classic award right here. do one mate.

if your game makes you think "wow!!! i wish i was playing the pretty much better version of this from almost a decade ago by the same guys", yeah maybe not great.

regretfully,

we got STARFIELD

it's just... shittier fallout 4. they're talking about how they want this to be 'the next skyrim' but like

nah mate. guys. you fucked it.

UPDATE OF THE GAME

game can already exist but then you went and made it BETTER. and BIGGER. and BIGGER AND BETTER.

nah mate it's not cyberpunk

how about HITMAN WORLD OF ASSASSINATION

but like specifically

FREELANCER

literally how did they not think of this earlier. remember hitman contracts? where half that thing was flashback-y? yeah. that would've been a perfect setting for a roguelike

i mean obviously contracts kinda had a shit development but STILL

they couldn't do it then and also they didn't want to do it then. they wanted to do it NOW and they DID IT NOW

oh wait damn that finally came out? OF THE YEAR

games take a long ass time to make. sometimes you pay for one and then it comes out like 5 years later.

crowdfunding is pretty cool. money. money's nice yeah?

oh yeah by the way,

that bit was about DEATHBULGE: BATTLE OF THE BANDS

yeah hey it finally came out. cool game. unique take on combat. banging tunes.

GAME OF THE FUTURE

this year was good. but like. the future? woah. flying cars and all that.

going to bed

wake me up when LIKE A DRAGON: INFINITE WEALTH comes out

from the demos, it seems they really went

"haha remember when we fucking NAILED IT on our first attempt at a turn based rpg? what if we just fuckin PERFECTED that shit lmao"

holy hell this is some solid combat. i admit part of me wishes ichiban was a chrono trigger addict instead of dragon quest but uhhhh we live in a society

based on CERTAIN TRAILERS that expose CERTAIN DETAILS, this might also be the last we see of one of the greatest gamer boys ever. so like. shit's going down in january. and gaming is gonna like... feel it i guess. they say finishing it in one session will make you sick well i'm the sickest gamer girl of all time so fuck you B)

oh yeah and also persona 3 reload releases like a week after. the week of no productivity.